Puberty Sucks
by Rainfelt aka Phoe-chan
Summary: Up until now it had been easy. No one suspected a thing! Then puberty hit. And Naruto discovered that it's harder to hide your gender when you have boobs. [SasuNaruko] [4 Part Fic Rated for Language and Sexual Content] [Complete.]
1. Part 1

**AN:** An RP that Sekushi Shigure and I did a week or two back. I have a thing for Naruko/Sasuke RPs. So we did one. Hopefully it'll make a bit of sense. It's a 3-part fic so hopefully I can get it completed before I go home for the summer.

I believe you'll love some of the stuff Shigure came up with in this XD

**Disclaimer:** We made Naruto a girl without orioke no jutsu. Kinda obvious we're just otakus.

_Edit: Sorry, I didn't even look over this. It had so many mistakes. Hopefully I caught them all. So sorry!_

* * *

**Puberty Sucks**

_Part 1 of 4_

* * *

Well, Naruto was screwed. Not in the physical sense, no, he was still pretty much a virgin as long as you don't count Kakashi's ass-poke as rape, but the fact of the matter was: he was screwed. 

He had tried to hide it for as long as possible. Almost half a year! But it was getting to the point where even through her baggy orange outfit; slight hints of the curves of her chest were showing.

Wait, confused are you? Let's explain:

Naruto wasn't a boy.

Naruto was a girl. And Naruto had hit puberty, which meant Naruto no longer had the figure of a boy. If it weren't for the henge he was using, he, well, _she_ would be double-screwed. It covered the slight difference in her face to make her looks more boyish and it did well to hide her slightly feminine figure. It was so weak that the sharingan couldn't even pick up on it unless the user was _purposely_ looking for something out of the ordinary. But any stronger and she could be easily found out. Something _had_ to be done.

She glanced at the clock. In ten minutes. Something had to be done in ten minutes before their meeting time.

_Ding-dong!_

Ah, too late. Sakura's lovely morning call, which resembled the screeching of an old lady who had spotted a rat in her kitchen, interrupted her thought process. The pink-haired kunoichi was promising many painful deaths to Naruto if 'he' didn't get 'his' ass downstairs immediately.

Naruto scowled, shouting, "I'm coming, I'm coming, damnit!"

Kakashi stood off to the side, leaning against the wall, sighing. Sasuke dangled close beside him. Neither were there because of desire to go train. Kakashi was only there because Sakura had managed to get the drop on him as he was heading out the door to go the memorial stone to visit Obito.

He'd always been weak to women in low-cut shirts.

And Sasuke? Oh, Sasuke was there because he had been one unlucky bastard who'd walked past Kakashi's house at the same time.

Damn his luck. He cringed as Sakura yelled again. Thank God there was only one girl on his team.

Yeah, right. Sasuke was a _really_ unlucky bastard.

"I said I'm _coming_, damnit! Don't yell so loud! You'll wake the rats!" _That'll get her to shut up,_ Naruto scowled, shrugging on her jacket. (And how right she was for Sakura began to squeal and cling to Sasuke, much to Sasuke's ire and Kakashi's amusement.) She'd just have to pray that nothing… happened. She'd bound her chest, but of course, bindings can only do so much. Zipping up her jacket, despite it being summer-time, she grabbed her hitai-ate, pulled it on and ran down the stairs, nearly tripping over her feet in the process.

"Awrk!" She gave a strangled yelp, nearly crashing into Sakura and Sasuke. Moving around her, she sat down on the floor, pulling her shoes on.

"Jeez. You're taking as long as Ino-pig. Primping much?" She crinkled her nose, teasing.

"Idiot," Sasuke turned his back and headed off, not seeming to care if they followed or not. Kakashi stayed, reading his book.

Naruto scowled irritably. It didn't help that she just got off her period. She was still cranky. "No, unlike you, I'm proud to know I don't have to spend thirty minutes in front of a mirror to make sure I'm decent enough to go outside."

It was amusing to see the boy who always fawned over Sakura be bitchy to her. Tapping the heel of her foot on the floor, she stood up, dusted herself off, and ran out the door, passing them all.

Sakura stared, frowning, but let it go and followed.

Kakashi stayed behind.

* * *

Sasuke reached the training area before the others did and while he should have had peace and quiet, he was not so blessed with the privilege. Kiba's team was there. 

How a loudmouth was put on a team of quiet weirdoes was beyond him. Stupid Iruka and his stupid replacements…

Hoping to catch a spot to rest in the shade, he was sorely disappointed when Kiba saw him and practically screamed it to everyone within a one-mile radius. Other teams practicing along the field paused, boys glowering and girls flowering.

He hated those looks.

It wasn't moments later before Naruto made the scene. Glancing around, and still in a semi-foul mood from the morning's events and her predicament, she went to go find some place semi-isolated to train. Not all the grounds were covered. Nodding, she trotted off toward one end that was still open. Oh, yesssss.

"N-Naruto-kun?" Hinata spoke shyly as she followed the blonde, drifting from her group.

Naruto winced slightly, turning around and plastering a bright smile on her face. "Hinata! How are you?"

"Um… Are you all right?" The girl inquired. "You haven't looked well at all lately." She looked bashfully away again, wringing her hands. The girl was sharper than she looked.

Naruto inwardly cringed. "Uh… Yeah! Just… had a stomach ache this morning. Hehe… spoiled milk again…" She cut her eyes across the fields, worrying on her lower lip. Sakura was pestering Sasuke and Ino had joined her. Kakashi had his face stuck in his book. …When had he appeared? Turning her eyes back to the Hyuuga girl, she smiled. "Don't worry, I'm fine! After all, I _am_ the Great Uzumaki Naruto!"

Hinata seemed relieved, muttering a soft affirmative, her worry fading away like mist. Easily fooled and gullible. Thank God she wasn't like Neji. Avoiding him was hard to do.

Naruto gave a slightly forced smile as a cramp hit her stomach. _Son of a … I finished cycling yesterday!_ Turning around, she scowled, rubbing her stomach. "Well! Training time," she chirped, signaling the conversation was over. Bringing her fingers up to their favorite position, she formed several clones and began to spar with them.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was deftly ignoring both Sakura and Ino, wishing he had a book like Kakashi, if only to hit himself deaf with it.

"Sasuke, you should get a little more sun," Kakashi hummed behind his book. "You're so pale you'd be spotted in the foliage."

_Stupid old man…_ Sasuke thought irritably as he opened his eyes and glowered at the blushing hentai pouring over his book. Why'd he always talk to him so freely anyway? It wasn't like he cared what he thought. _My skin is fine the way it is; I burn, not tan._

He opted for ignoring the copy-nin, rolling on his side and away from him. For once, he didn't feel like being there. Training was wonderful, but only when you weren't surrounded by girls watching your every move and boys glaring daggers into your skin.

Finally getting tired of itchy grass, Sasuke got to his feet and dusted off his knees before sliding his hands into his pockets. Today just wasn't a good day. He began to pad off; ignoring Kakashi's questioning noise, with the intent of going home and curling up for a nap. Shikamaru did it all the time, so why not just this once for him?

He paused, however, to take a look at Naruto. The blond had agreed to spar with Kiba, both taking joy in taunting each other. A lot of people were watching, amused by both their antics.

It was then Naruto glanced to the side for a moment, noticing Sasuke about to leave. Their eyes locked for a split second and it was all Kiba needed. She lost her concentration, allowing Kiba's _gatsuuga_ to crash into her. With a yelp, she was thrown backwards and into the lake.

Kiba stopped spinning and began to laugh. "Naruto, you asshole! That was lame! Get back up here so I can kick your ass properly!"

Naruto surfaced in the water, sputtering a bit, her hair clinging to her face and glaring daggers. "You fucking mutt! I'm gonna rip that smug look off your face!"

She began to swim back toward the shore, scowling as she tore her jacket, now heavy with water, from her body, completely forgetting about her 'protocol'. She bundled the jacket up and threw it ahead of her onto the shore as her feet touched bottom, the water up to her neck. She began to wade toward the shore, snarling the entire way.

By the time she got to the edge, pulled herself out, and stood up, she had managed to plaster a look on her face that could knock a nun dead. She glared, balling her fists and began to stalk toward him. "I'm gonna rip you a new air-hole, Kiba!"

(Now, have you ever got that feeling you've done something you knew you shouldn't have, but you can't figure out what? With tension that fills the air and the wide-eyed stares of incredulous stupor that follows?

Yeah, Naruto is about to experience this.)

Kiba stared and his nose tickled, then began to all but drizzle blood. "Agh! No fair! Don't do that!" Kiba whined, holding his nose and wincing. "Sheeze! You even _smell_ like a girl!"

Lee looked ready to laugh, despite being a nice guy. That is… _until_ he saw Neji's slack-jawed expression and Hinata mirroring it.

Oh. Shit.

Naruto with boobs was just as obvious as a red-faced Neji.

Naruto paled suddenly and looked down at herself. "Oh, shit…" She hissed, before running for her jacket. "S-Sorry! Bad joke!" She yelled, pulling her jacket on over her soaked body. "Gotta go now! We'll finish this later, Mutt-face!"

Naruto was stopped by Hinata's voice.

"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata all but breathed, staring at the blonde. "Y-you're… a girl?"

Strangely enough, the tone wasn't really upset, but the shock was beyond obvious.

"N-No!" Naruto denied eyes wide. "It's a henge, damnit!"

But, it was too late. All hell broke loose, confusion rippling among the teens. Sakura and Ino looked like the ground had caved beneath them before launching into attack mode.

"Yeah, right!" Ino poked Naruto's slightly curved chest. "If Hinata says you are, then you _are!_ Byakugan doesn't lie!"

She was too close for comfort as she breathed down the flustered tomboy's neck.

"Naruto, what on earth were you thinking? Why didn't you say something?" Sakura wasn't as up-close and personal but she was visibly upset.

Kakashi… was no help.

"You took baths with me and Sasuke, Naruto." He was frowning down at the blonde, his expression stern. Then… he gave her a thumbs-up. "Y'get an A+ in stealth, though; I had no clue!" He grinned.

Naruto looked _mortified_ and scared. She had reason to, with both Ino and Sakura _and_ half the female body population on the field sending her death glares. "No…" She whispered, stumbling back. She hadn't even let up her genjutsu, hoping she could lie through it. "No! It's not true!" She shouted pushing through the crowd and speeding back toward the village.

She knocked Sasuke out of the way, who had been standing there in pure and absolute shock. "Out of my way, teme!"

After Sasuke managed to sit upright, eyes crossed, he muttered "Dobe…" under his breath as he processed this new information.

After his brain ran through a list of emotions, most of which were synonyms or related to "angst," "brood," and "arrogant," he settled for one he rarely used.

Glee.

That's right. Uchiha Sasuke stood up, dusted himself off, and then gave a look of pure glee.

He wasn't gay.

Kiba's bet had just gone down the drain.

Oh, yeah…

* * *

**AN:** Ah, yeah… so uh… yeah. …Yeah. 

Deidara's rubbed off on me. X3

**Next chapter:** Naruto panics and goes to Iruka for safety while Sasuke follows with the intent on getting answers. And Sasuke has to deal with hormones. Lots of them.

So, uh… yeah. (Damn, did it again)

Comments appreciated.

_-Sekushi Shigure & Phoe-chan_


	2. Part 2

**Edit: **Fixed the inconsistencies in time. IE: Reference to the correct Hokage is being used.**  
**

**AN:** Ha! Bet you thought it would take me WEEKS to update, didn't ya? Well, surprise for you! It would've been sooner but I went spastic during exams. Ah, well.

An answer to a few reviews that I think deserved an answer. (Or rather, me defending myself…-cough-)

**Tsugath**: I'll be sure to add something in it about the bet later. I'm pretty sure Naruto brings it up again.

**Anonymous:** Nope! Naruto doesn't have long hair! You'll see!

**Slytherin Prankster:** Although I appreciate your comments, I thought I'd let you know this fic is rushed because it's a story condensed into 4 parts. It's RP based and RP's go fast. I tend to work for originality; with the exception of these latest two fics (Playing Hero being the other) my works go very slow. Playing Hero is also fast-paced for it's also an RP. Any other Naruto fic I have is _very_ slow. Sorry, I just had to defend myself –cough-

Mrr. That's about all. But I thank the rest of you for your reviews!

Now, onward with part 2!

**Disclaimer:** It has been disclaimed.

* * *

**Puberty Sucks**

_Part 2 of 4_

* * *

Naruto ran desperately to Iruka's house, tripping and stumbling several times in the process. She nearly ran straight into the door, skidding to a stop and pounding heavily on the wood. "Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei!" 

Her voice cracked as she repeated the action, "Iruka-sensei, open up!"

Iruka hurried to the door and opened it. His eyes widened at Naruto's frantic state and pulled her inside, shutting the door. Sasuke, who had followed her, watched as the boy-turned-girl all but flung herself at Iruka, wailing. The door was shut before he had a chance to see any more.

Naruto, a girl…? Sure, the _orioke no jutsu_ was one of Naruto's favorite pranks… He touched his mouth, brain suddenly connected. The 'Sexy no jutsu' didn't exist; _Naruto_ _no jutsu_ existed.

He sunk to the stoop of the front door, staring at the space between his knees, unblinking as the voices seeped through the wood to his ears.

Naruto threw herself at Iruka, voice muffled by his shirt. "They know! They know! They're gonna tell and then the villagers will come after me again! What do I do, Iruka-sensei! Fix it!"

It was awful of Sasuke to feel so _relieved_ when he could plainly hear Naruto's shaking voice crying plaintively.

Naruto was a _girl_.

Naruto had _kissed_ him.

He wasn't gay for _liking_ it.

The bird in his chest stilled, preening its feathers. _What now_, it asked. Standing up, he knocked softly at the door, hoping that it would be the "what now."

"Iruka-sensei, pleas-!" "Naruto." She looked up at him, eyes red from tears. "It's going to be OK. Now, you need to calm down. We need to go see the Hokage about this…" He stopped when he heard the knock. He frowned as Naruto began to shake again. "Look, go to my bedroom and stay in there, OK? Everything's going to be fine. You're a strong girl. You've gotten this far; you'll make it further, OK?"

She nodded, wiping her nose with her hand. "H-hai, Iruka-sensei…" Turning, she ran back into his bedroom, shutting the door and frowned when there was no lock. She ran around to the other side of the bed, sinking to the floor and leaning against the wall, completely hidden by Iruka's bed. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down. Maybe it was just another teacher…

Iruka opened the door slowly, looking out. He blinked in surprise. "Sasuke? Is there something I can help you with?"

Naruto's eyes shot open wide. _Oh, God, no… Sasuke…_ Her heartbeat quickened again as she looked at the window, then at the door.

"I need to talk to the dobe," Sasuke muttered, forcing himself to sound disinterested, but in truth his voice wanted to jump a few notches higher.

"Um, Naruto's not here right now, Sasuke. Did you try checking his apartment?" Iruka inquired, frowning. Hey, he had to be decent at lying to put up with all those kids at the academy, right?

"I saw her come in here," Sasuke said flatly. "Now, get out of my way."

"I can't do that, Sasuke. Naruto's in my care and…_her_ wellbeing comes first."

Meanwhile, Naruto was fumbling with the lock on Iruka's window, panic keeping her from focusing on the task at hand. Half of her attention was on the words being exchanged. Sasuke knew. Sasuke knew she had to get out she had to hide he knew they were all going to findherandtortureherandkillher…

"What, and my worries don't count for her either?" Sasuke snapped sharply, before biting his tongue. He never seemed to keep his cool when it came to Naruto.

Iruka was about to reply when he heard the sound of a lock coming undone. He turned his head back inside the house. "Naruto…? What are you doing?"

He gave Sasuke a strange look, and not wanting to shut the door in his face, turned and walked back toward the bedroom door. He grabbed the knob, hesitating to open the door. "Naruto…?"

Upon receiving no answer, he turned the knob and pushed the door open and was greeted by an empty room and an open window.

Iruka cursed. "Shit."

* * *

"Great," Sasuke muttered as he caught sight of the blonde heading off for the Hokage's tower. He darted after her, feeling stupidly like a certain love-struck skunk at higher speeds. He didn't even know why he was doing this. 

Just like he didn't know why his arms were going around her waist, his body tackling her small weight off her feet and rolling them down the hill on the other side of the road. When they came to a stop, he was cradling her tightly, protecting her from the fall. He could feel her panic vibrating, almost making _him_ shake.

"Calm down; calm down…" Sasuke whispered, trying to think of how to calm the blonde. He didn't have much experience in calming people down from hysteria. Normally, he was the one in need of calming down. His fingers stroked the spiked locks of hair hurriedly. He muttered the first things that came to mind. "I'm not going to hurt you; it's OK…"

She raised her arms and held them up in front of her face, shaking her head. She was like a wild animal caught in a snare. "Calm down and talk to me," Sasuke half pleaded, half growled.

"Let go, let go, let go, I have to hide, let go… LET GO!" She shrieked, struggling against him for all she was worth. She pulled back a fist and punched him in the face. "Let me go, bastard! I have to go before they find me!"

Sasuke surged, pinning her hands at the sides of her head. His nose was bleeding from the force of her blow and he was panting. His perfect hair was a mess of tangles and grass. He looked absolutely _ridiculous_.

"_Who_ is going to find you?" He asked, spitting a dandelion fluff out.

She refused to answer, squirming with all her being. Her panic had put her lessons of self-control out of mind. She now had no use of her hands and she couldn't perform jutsus to get away. She couldn't overpower Sasuke in strength, especially in this position. She was caught.

She was running on pure instinct.

"Let go!" She shouted again, before she caught sight of people walking in the distance. Her eyes widened to the point that it was almost inhuman. "P-please…" She whispered; a shock to the Uchiha that she would resort to begging. "Please let me go. I have to go. Please, Sasuke. _Please_."

He covered her mouth with his hand, hunkering low in the grass, watching the civilians come closer. They didn't seem to see the pair who were hidden amongst the tall weeds and grass. Even if they had, Sasuke hid most of Naruto with his body anyway.

As soon as they had passed, he sat up, straddling her and glaring down at her. "Fine. You can hide."

Before she could protest, he hauled her up over his shoulder and took to the rooftops.

* * *

At first, Naruto was in too much of a state of shock to reply until he was actually airborne, to which she reacted by yelling obscenities at him. He ignored her, not stopping until he reached his apartment window. She was dropped on his bed as he yanked the curtains shut. Her knuckles were white from where she was gripping the sheets of his bed, staring up at him as if he had adapted Orochimaru's snake tongue. "What the _fuck_ are you DOING!" She nearly screeched, clearly confused and expressing that through high volumes. Was he trying to kidnap her? Had he lost his _mind_? No, wait; he didn't have one in the first place. 

"Hiding you; that's what you wanted, right dobe?" He turned to her scowling at her. "And who the hell would look here in my home? Of course, if you keep screaming that'll be moot point."

She bit her cheek, refusing to take his bait. "You don't want me here. What are you doing this for, anyway? So you have something to hang over my head—Scream? YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY WARNING!" She yelled, waving her hands in the air.

"Well, neither did you." He held his ears shut at her screeching while one eye closed. "Shinobi improvise. I did what I was trained to do. Now stop screaming already…"

"Give you warning for what? That I was a girl? Well, news flash for ya! I didn't exactly plan on telling anyone! I just happened to hit puberty," she scowled, folding her arms and turning away.

"Didn't ask for your help…" she mumbled, still shaken and pride still wounded. She let the genjutsu up, her body thinner, face less boyish. Her hair was the same length, lips a little fuller, and of course, the slight curve of her chest. Her hands were small, almost bony.

Sasuke stared at her. She looked so different yet so much the same. He took a deep breath before regaining himself. "All I want to know is _why_ hide it?" He asked bluntly, tone seeking. "Who cares if you've got a dick or not?"

"That's none of your business," She snapped, not looking at him. She took a deep breath, still trying to calm down. "I really should go…"

"Hmph… I think it is." He leaned down, forcing her eye to his. "And you aren't going anywhere until you tell me."

She hissed at his demands. "Like you can stop me!" She snarled, pushing him away, rolling off the bed and making a beeline for the door. Before she could make it, he skidded in front of her as he rebounded off the floor, sharingan spinning.

"Like you doubted?" Her legs were swept from beneath her and she found herself staring up at the ceiling then into Sasuke's face as he pinned her, knee holding her thigh, the other pressed tight against her groin for balance. His hands resembled shackles as they held her wrists to the floor, deftly immobilizing her.

"So why?" He asked again, pressing further when she struggled. The movement rocked him, sending warmth to spark throughout her hips. Unaware of it, he glared down at her, expecting an answer.

She gulped, still managing to glare at her. She was good at masking things like this, since she was a girl had had grown up as a boy and around boys. She didn't answer him, merely glaring back at him. "Get off."

"No." He leaned down, anger beginning to burn in the blood red of his irises. "I want to know."

"It's none of your business!" She yelled her face red in frustration. "Get off me your bastard!" She pushed up against him with the strength she was known for, but she was at a disadvantage, being pinned.

He pressed forward again, shoving back down. The process repeated. Again and again, until they were both panting. Sasuke's face was slightly flushed from the effort of riding a bucking Naruto, sweat trickling down his temple to drip on the dip of her collarbone, mouth slightly slack to breathe. She, herself, was in no better condition, red-faced and glaring.

"It _is_ my business!" He all but huffed. "You lied to me and tricked me! For God sakes, you took baths with me, took leaks in the bushes and even went _fucking skinny-dipping with me!_ I think I should know, for my own piece of mind, that you aren't some damn perverted girl that is part of the Sasuke Fan Club watching my every move and taking creepy stalker pictures to sell to the highest bidder on eBay!"

Her eyes widened in pure shock before they narrowed angrily. "How _dare_ you!" She snarled, face turning almost purple from pure anger. "How dare you accuse me of _that!_ I knew you hated me but I didn't think you hated me that fucking much!" Feeling her anger, Kyuubi fueled his chakra into her system and she used the pure force of the boost to throw Sasuke off of her as she scrambled onto her feet, her wet clothes sticking to her body, making her feel icky. "You… God, you're not even worth insulting. I can't believe I…" She shook her head, the chakra dying down some. "I'm leaving. I have things I need to do. Thanks for nothing, bastard."

Her actions stiff, she turned and walked to the door.

"I don't hate you!" Sasuke shouted, not thinking. "You decided that all on your own!"

"What else am I supposed to think when you're all up in my face!" She turned back around, tears brimming in her eyes. She would not cry. She would _not_ cry. Not over him. "I don't want anyone to know and you're included. It would only make things more fucked up than I've already made them." She turned back around, opening the door.

"Maybe that I'm actually worried because the one person I thought who understood me is acting like… like… someone I don't even know!" He stood up, stepping toward her, one hand outstretched. _Don't go out that door_, he thought subconsciously._ If you walk out now, I don't know if it'll ever be alright again…_

Her hand dropped from the doorknob, hanging limply at her side. Her shoulders were shaking. She was crying. She told herself she wouldn't cry and there she was, tears rolling down her cheeks. _You don't know me at all, Sasuke… That's the thing… but I understand more than you think… much more._ "But I'm scared…" She murmured the last of her thoughts aloud, softly, softly. "And I can't afford to lose you…"

"Dobe… I'm not going anywhere." Sasuke was behind her, hesitantly touching her back. "You're the one walking out."

"Because I don't want you to know what I am," she replied softly, her eyes closed, head bowed. "Of all the people… I fear your reaction the most."

"That you're a girl who pretended to be a guy?" He asked, turning her around. "I'm not letting you go till I get an answer." His fingers stroked her arm before he held her biceps lightly.

"I'm a monster…" She whispered, looking down at the floor. "I'm not a girl… I'm a monster."

"How?" He inquired, eye ticking.

She lowered her head, not replying.

"The only monster that…" He stopped, "I know of is… oh…"

Naruto shook, jerking out of Sasuke's grasp and stumbled backwards into the semi-open door, losing her balance and falling. She sat up, staring up at him with wide eyes like a deer in headlights.

Without a word, he slid his hands under her arms, lifting her from the floor. He pulled her against his shoulder, shutting the door at the same time, nose to her ear. "I'm not an idiot who sleeps during class. I know the hokage sealed that monster in a baby, not turned that monster into a human."

Naruto's reply was to lean against him heavily, eyes staring dully ahead. "I hide my gender to lessen the torture I endure. If the villagers knew… that I was a girl… it would make it that much more tempting and easier for them to try to kill me… my chakra control is so bad because I constantly have to keep that genjutsu up…"

"Dobe…" He muttered. "No one's going to kill you. The Hokage wouldn't let them. Iruka wouldn't, Kakashi wouldn't… I wouldn't…" He stopped, biting his tongue. "I think you're overreacting about this. Aside from older people being aloof to you, have they ever tried to harm you? From what I've seen, they just ignore you or talk trash… They're too much of sheep brains to do anything physical."

She gave a small, sad smile. "From what you've seen…" she echoed.

He pulled away to look down at her. "You mean they actually tried?" He frowned.

"Yeah… hence the henge; it deters them a little bit." She sighed, leaning against him again. "I'm scared, Sasuke. You have no idea how much it hurts to admit that. They all know now…" She half closed her eyes.

"They may not and even if they do, hiding's not going to help it." He completely held her finally, pretense of being aloof faded. At least he knew why now… the attraction he felt but wasn't quite sure what to make of it…

Why he had liked that kiss.

Why he wanted another one, despite the situation.

"If you don't face them head on, they'll think you're an easy target. There are plenty of women who scare people shitless. Like Anko, remember?"

Naruto hesitantly clung back, her hands fisting in the back of his shirt, sighing. "Yeah, but I don't wanna be a psycho bitch, I mean, that's like you as a woman…" She teased slightly, resting her chin on his shoulder. "I'm getting you wet, you know…"

"I don't care," he muttered. And he didn't. The sensation was too pleasant.

Burying his nose in her hair, he inhaled, collecting his thoughts. In return, Naruto turned red at his actions but made no move to stop him.

"I mean it. I don't hate you." He said at last, the hand on the small of her back twitching slightly. "You irritate the hell out of me, and cause trouble for me, and I really hate when you screech like a banshee and get fidgety...but I don't hate you."

Why was he acting so different? It confused Naruto. "Yeah…? I don't hate you either, even if you're an arrogant, pompous asshole who is obviously full of himself and has a fan-club the size of Kakashi's porn collection," she paused. "Which I am still appalled by the fact you even _suggested_ I was part of that… that… hideous organization. Who the hell would wanna stalk you?"

"Try every girl in our class, some upperclassmen and a few married women," he scowled, lips moving on her ear. "I've caught Ino hanging around my windows a few times and Sakura is forever 'passing by'…"

Naruto snickered, "And you said I wouldn't be found here… liar. And just think if they walked in and saw us like this. They would wail and cling to you and I would be dead in a matter of seconds. Plus, Kiba's bet that you're gay would be completely shattered and he'd lose a lot of money."

"Actually, I think I'd kill them first," Sasuke replied, choosing to ignore the bit about Kiba. He could kill him later.

"Aww," she teased, looking up at him with a much-exaggerated expression of gratitude on her face. "You'd do that for lil' ol' me? I'm touched Sasuke-_kun_."

He poked her forehead, scowling. "I'm sure you are. I just can't stand being clung to and being wailed at in my ear."

"And what exactly was I doing a moment ago?" she inquired, both embarrassed and teasing. She was still holding onto him, her hands fisted in the back of his shirt, scrunching up his clan symbol.

"You weren't trying to squeeze my ass," He told her with all seriousness.

She looked up at him for a moment and with a completely straight face, reached down and groped him with one hand.

The expression on Sasuke's face was priceless. Morphing from annoyance to sheer shock then red-faced embarrassment, he jerked, yanking her hand forcibly from his backside. "What the _hell_ was _that_ for!" He demanded, staring at her.

"To see the look on her face," she replied, snickering.

He scowled, darkening the room two shades, before a sharp slap came down on her backside, the wet cloth only making it more of a shock.

Naruto yelped, jumping, eyes wide and staring at him. Her mouth opened and closed for a moment, just comprehending what he did and that it was he who did it. "You... you..." her face was bright red, stumbling over her words. Finally, her face broke out in a grin. "OK, you're not as gay as I thought you were."

He shook his head, before walking back to his bed, sitting down on it heavily. "Shut up..." He muttered. "You're a brat and you deserved it."

"You're a brat, too, and you deserved it and more," She replied haughtily, putting her hands on her hips. She paused for a moment before frowning. "You got any spare clothes? Like a huge shirt? I hate wet clothes," She scowled, walking back into the center of the apartment a bit as she peeled the shirt off of her, revealing a very thin frame and a chest wrapped in bandages, small curves showing that she was definitely not a boy.

"I don't own anything huge..." Sasuke told her, as he headed after her to pull some clothes out for her. He held up a t-shirt, black and plain, tugging it over her head, much to her protest. "As for pants, you'll have to go without; none of mine will fit you."

"I can dress myself," she replied dryly, chucking her pants but leaving her boxers. "But... thanks." She sighed, kicking away her clothes and flopped on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

He sat beside her, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"What the hell now?"

"Dunno..." She replied. "Iruka-sensei's probably already told 'Baa-chan... and she probably knows I'm with you. Of all the places I'd end up with, it'd just have to be you." She glanced over at him, giving a small smile. "Kinda glad. ...Kinda."

"Well I'm kinda glad too." He looked over at her. "For a lot of things," he muttered, not thinking she'd hear. He looked at the closed window, thinking.

_Thank God, you're a girl. I was worried shitless for a while..._

"Care to elaborate?" She inquired, rolling onto her side to look at him; pushing him with two fingers, making him fall back onto the bed.

"No, I don't." He looked at her, tiredly.

"Well, unlike you, I won't push. Cuz I'm cool like that," She bragged, sitting up. "You look tired. I'll stay up and you can sleep. Keep watch or something for ya." She yawned, scooting to the edge of the bed.

"Who's tired, and who's yawning?" He asked, yanking her back. She fell against him, the palm of his hand cradling her head. "Go to sleep dobe. No one's going to bother us."

"You're the one who looks like he ain't had a good night's sleep in days," She replied, face tinted pink.

"I haven't." He admitted. "But I will now." He confirmed, cradling her like a mere stuffed animal, relaxing. "So shut up."

She stiffened eyes wide. "Sasuke... we've shared a bed before but you've never been this cuddly. Something you wanna tell me?" Although as she said this, she found herself snuggling against his side, pressing her body close against his.

He looked down at her, as though to speak, but he froze as her thigh brushed his. Flushing, he shook his head, not meeting her eye.

"Mm. be stubborn. I don't care." She mumbled, burying her face against him. "You'd better not grope me in my sleep."

"Idiot!" He hissed, letting go of her and wriggling back to the wall. "You're the one doing that...!" His knee drew up, pressing her stomach. "Stop pushing me there!"

"Wha...?" She inquired, her eyes peeking open. "Did I get a tickle spot? Where?" She propped herself up on her elbow some, a wide grin spreading across her whiskered face.

"Dobe!" He all but yelped, eyes wide with embarrassment.

It took her a moment but her eyes widened in realization as she flushed red. After a moment, she began to giggle before falling onto her back, muffling her laughter in her hands. "O-OK, I'm c-convinced you're not gay." She snorted in laughter.

He glowered at her, rolling to his stomach, pillow sliding under his chest. Bright red, he muttered. "Happy?"

"Maaaaybe," She replied, eyes sparkling. She rolled to her side again and her hand crept down his backside, resting on his ass purposely, a very smug smirk on her lips.

"If you even _think_ of whipping me, I'll..." He growled.

"You'll what?" She inquired, amused as she squeezed a bit. "Aww, tense?"

"That's it." He sat up, whapping her over the head with his pillow, not realizing the view it gave her, head on…

…Of a hard-on.

Triumphant that the pillow had lost a few feathers, he sat back on his heels, smirking smugly.

Her eyes widened some, a couple of feathers fluttering as she stared at him, not meeting his eyes, but looking lower. Much lower. Her cheeks flushed darkly, "Wow, didn't know I had that much influence over you..."

His smugness died, and the pillow was all but slammed over his lap, his face bright red.

And her smugness returned tenfold as she sat up some. Her eyes sparkled. "Do I have the magic touch, Sasuke?" She was enjoying this too much.

He looked away, muttering. "Maybe… Or maybe I just like dumb blondes."

"Hey!" She sat up indignantly. "Then why aren't you all over Ino!"

"She's a nasty blonde." He looked annoyed. "And not real; that's BLEACH."

She snarled pointing a finger at him. "I'm not dumb! I've been doing genjutsu since before you knew what chakra was, teme!"

"Alright then. Ditzy." He compromised. "I've never seen such a klutz."

"All right, that's it you asshole," She lunged at him, tackling him with the intent to punch him shitless. "I'll show you klutz!"

They landed backwards on Sasuke's bed; his head pressed uncomfortably to the wall while her case wasn't helping at all with her arms about his waist and face right on his lap… he stared down at her, swallowing hard as he shifted, sitting up some. "I take it you meant to do that?" He nearly squeaked, willing the ache between his legs to die.

She flushed, sitting up rigidly, "No...I was going to hit you! A-And I still am!" She shouted, trying to force her embarrassment into anger. It wasn't working.

"Heh. Right." He grinned.

She stifled a yell as she punched, throwing her weight into her fist.

His hand caught hers as she came forward, deflecting it to hit air at the side of his head. But she still got him. Kinda.

With a start, her mouth crushed against his, miscalculation on both their parts resulting into another 'kiss'.

Naruto froze, eyes wide, as she stared at him for a split moment before pulling away in embarrassment.

He let her, before growling. "Dobe..."

Naruto gulped.

She was in _big_ trouble.

End of Part 2

* * *

**AN:** Ugh, this may end up being 4 parts. I didn't realize this part was so long… and that's not even where I wanted to end it. For those who don't know "dobe" means something akin to "dead last" and though I didn't use it, usuratonkachi is roughly translated to "clumsy idiot." I put this because I only recently made a point to go back and watch the episodes to figure it out because no one bothers to put a note to what it means when they use it. If you're going to use Japanese, people, give some damn translations. Kage Bushin is one thing. "Kore wa atashi no chiyuu to sensei, Umino Iruka," is another thing. Give a damn translation instead of letting people try to guess what the hell you're saying. Chances are, you're saying it wrong anyway. Like I probably am, since I'm not fluent in Japanese. 

Sorry, that's my rant for the night.

**Next part**: Oh, c'mon. I can't spoil it for you.

Comments appreciated.

_Sekushi Shigure and Phoe-chan_


	3. Part 3

**AN:** I know; I know. It's late. You really shouldn't be surprised by now, right?

**Disclaimer:** Well, since Naruto's not a girl…

**Puberty Sucks**

_Part 3 of… Damnit! Miscalculated again!_

* * *

Naruto gulped, beginning to inch away from Sasuke. "I… I meant to hit you!" She squeaked, paling. She was soabout to get _creamed._

He looked ready to hit her, bite her, punch, kick…kiss? Yes, kiss.

She was grabbed by the front of her shirt and pulled down again, mouth almost bruised from the force of Sasuke's lips crushing against hers. Sasuke groaned as her belly pressed into his lap, his hands tugging her short hair for leverage. When he finally pulled away he was panting, his eyes dilated and lips swollen.

She stared up at him, her own lips kiss-bruised and as pink as the pretty blush on her whiskered cheeks. Before either of them realized what she was doing, she crawled into his lap, kissing him again, clutching his face with her trembling hands. When she pulled away, she looked up at him, trembling. "God… you have no idea how long I've dreamt of that… And God, it's a helluva lot better than in those dreams…"

At the moment she didn't care if it was lust; it just felt so good. She knew that if it was though, it'd hurt her later.

Sasuke couldn't speak. _'Dreams? She dreamt of this? For how long?_' He'd only just begun to understand that strange force pulling him towards the blonde when they'd kissed the first accidental time. It had grown ad morphed into some sort of new butterfly, now close to the gate of its cocoon, ready to fly free. He counted several heartbeats before swallowing down the butterfly a few more notches and pushed her nose first into a pillow.

She gave a muffled yelp as her face was pressed into soft cushion.

"D-Dobe, go to sleep," He all but rasped, shifting his weight off the bed. He was in the bathroom in three long strides, shutting and locking the door swiftly. Only when he was sure she wasn't going to follow him did he allow himself the leisure of running his hand over the front of his shorts. His head made a soft 'thunk' against the door as he chewed on his bottom lip. Now was _not_ the time to be acting on horny teenage hormones. Not when she was like this, not when things were upsetting for her, and most certainly not when they were just figuring things out between them.

They were young. They had time.

As he kneaded himself to the peak of no-sticky-return, he had a stray thought from the Inner Sasuke.

'_You don't have condoms around here anyway.'_

* * *

By the time Naruto had righted herself, he had shut the bathroom door and locked himself inside. She scowled. It was afternoon! Like hell if she was going to sleep. Irritated, she stood up, rubbing her shoulders. "Bastard."

She really didn't want to stay now. She felt uncomfortable being around someone that she didn't know what she felt. She had had dreams about kissing him and beating the shit out of him afterwards. Maybe that henge being kept up for all the years gave her an abnormal boost of testosterone for a girl.

Besides, she didn't get what Sasuke was feeling either. Damn bastard was more moody than a room full of PMSing teenage girls.

Grabbing her wet clothes, she slung them over her shoulder and slipped her shoes on before quietly unlocking the door, opening it and closing it behind her. Walking down the stairs of the apartment complex, she muttered "henge" under her breath, turning into Boy Naruto with his regular clothes and began to trot toward her house.

* * *

By the next day, word was out. Naruto was a girl. Tsunade had made it clear to the citizens that nothing was to change in their behavior toward the girl. Anyone caught disobeying would still be taught the 'lesson' as preset by the fourth. And Naruto was given a memo to carry on.

Easy for the old hag to say.

She hadn't came out of her house since. She'd skipped practice, had locked her door, pulled down the shades in her apartment and refused to answer the door. She was glad she didn't have a telephone. She didn't even go to Ichiraku's. To pass time, she would train her chakra control or ready up on jutsus. Yes, she had a hard time reading kanji, but it was better than the looks and questions she'd receive from her peers. And she could avoid Sasuke (And his fan-club).

So far it was going OK, but she was running out of food. More specifically, ramen.

By the fifth day, Kakashi all but crawled to the door.

"Naruto… come on…" He knocked softly. "You really have to come out. Hiding's not going to do anything but make it worse."

Naruto ignored him, going back to her task of cleaning the dishes in her sink, swatting the monstrous moldy creation in the corner with a spatula. …She withdrew her weapon to find half of it bitten off. She resumed tending to plates instead.

Kakashi knocked harder. "Naruto, I will force you. Don't make me do it."

Her right brow twitched as she squeezed the sponge she was holding. It wheezed in response and she glared at it. Muttering something, she left a clone in her place and retreated to her balcony where she could climb to the roof.

But, lo and behold, Kakashi met her there, yanking her up off her feet by her collar. On the ground, the clone of Kakashi waved at her smugly before 'poofing' into midair.

Caught, damnit!

She was all but dragged to the training grounds, leaving a clawed up trail behind her. Kakashi handled her well; in fact, it was amazing he was single and didn't have kids. He certainly knew how to deal with them.

"Let me go you perverted old man!" Naruto snarled, twisting in his grip. "You don't own me! I can damn well do what I want!"

Her nails dug into his skin and the look on her face was enough to make any normal man wet his pants.

But Kakashi was no normal man. Unlike Iruka, he wasn't whipped.

Depositing her on the ground beside a tree, he crouched down and did something he had never done before. He _pulled his mask down._

"Read. My. Lips." He said slowly, tone leaving no room for her case. "You are a ninja and as a ninja you are to do as ordered. The hokage ordered you to carry on as normal and if you ever want to become hokage yourself you will have to learn that you will go nowhere with a hard head an unwillingness to follow orders."

Her face scrunched up in anger as she gripped his mask and pulled him closer. "I damn well understands what it means to be a ninja but lemme tell you something, sensei. A lot of people don't know what it means to be a moral man. I would know. Baba doesn't." She pushed him away and dusted himself off. "Let's get this over with. What the hell are we doing today? Training? Find that woman's cat again? Or just torturing me for wanting to work out my demons myself?"

Kakashi felt the need to heave a sigh as he pulled his mask up again before anyone saw. Rolling his eyes skyward he playfully rapped his knuckles over her skull playfully and motioned to a spot amongst the sparring bodies where Sakura was fighting with Sasuke. Or more like attacking while he dodged.

"Actually, we were training today. But since it's been a hard day for you, I'll let you and your teammates decide on what to do."

"Shut up. I can do the damned training. Don't treat me like I'm a frail little girl. Baba said no different, right? Then you'll treat me like I am Naruto the loudmouth, idiotic, brainless, Sakura-loving boy that I pretend to be." With that, she loosened the drawstring of her pants before raising her henge, allowing her to look like Boy Naruto.

"I didn't mean it like that," Kakashi muttered, again rolling his eyes. "And stop with that. There's no use for it now." He patted her back.

She scowled, pulling away. "There's more use for it than you think, even if it's just subconscious or psychological." Wow… Naruto really did know big words.

Sasuke had forced himself to _not_ look across the field and meet Naruto's gaze. Hard as it was, all he could allow himself was small, stolen glances. One of which caught him seeing Kakashi's hand patting her mid-back, lowering.

He shoved at Sakura a little too hard, knocking the girl backwards into the area Neji was practicing. The Hyuuga sucked in his breath as he managed to deflect several kunai from the girl's range, only slightly startled at her accidental intrusion.

Sasuke panted, wiping at his mouth, sweating for more reasons than just training for four hours straight.

"Sakura. Lunch. Now." He gritted out, all but stomping towards Kakashi.

Sakura opened her mouth to protest but the aura he was emitting was enough to send her back. She apologized to the Hyuuga before slowly trailing after Sasuke toward Kakashi.

Naruto ignored Sasuke approaching them and went off to a corner of the training field, warming up with stretches and ignoring any stares cast her way.

Passing Naruto was like rubbing sandpaper together. It hurt, but like the Uchiha he was, he did not wince, or show any emotion over it. Instead he sat back by the tree and ate his lunch without a word. He knew Kakashi was watching him, but he ignored it.

"I'm going." He announced before even finishing his lunch.

Naruto didn't hear him, too busy working up a sweat against a myriad of clones. She felt protected within them because few could tell which one was the real her. She kept her guise up, refusing to let it fall. Too many thoughts swarmed in her head and her focus was off. Finally she gave a frustrated yell as the clones disappeared and threw her fist into a tree, splintering it in two.

Turning, Naruto, stormed over to Kakashi. "There. I trained. I will report for missions and training but other than that, you can't control what I do." She turned and stormed off, anger radiating from her being.

Nonplussed, Kakashi spoke to Sakura, enough to send hairs rising along both Naruto and Sasuke's neck.

"Well, at least one of my pupils isn't lost in their own world. Come on Sakura. Let's go train." He took the girl's hand and tugged her away, retreating. The little smile on his face was missed entirely.

Naruto scowled at Kakashi, flipping him off as the man walked away. She glanced briefly at Sasuke, debating on what to say.

"That bastard thinks he knows everything just because he's old." Sasuke was muttering to himself, though it could be construed as camaraderie. It was hard to tell with Sasuke. Then again, _anything_ was hard to tell with him.

When it became obvious to the blonde that Sasuke was just following his lead, it was also made clear that even Sasuke was debating what to say.

Naruto just looked at him expectantly, deciding to be the indifferent bastard for a change. She wasn't in the wrong here.

"Nh..." He rubbed his neck when they were out of range of the training grounds, stopping. The vertebrae popped as he rolled it, eyes closing. "I don't know what Tsunade's teaching her, but she punches too hard." He muttered.

"You're avoiding. I didn't know the great Uchiha Sasuke avoided." Naruto replied flatly, not moving her eyes from him.

"What, you want to talk about it? Fine." Sasuke glared at her. "What do you want to talk about?"

She folded her arms. "I'd like an explanation for last week's behavior. First you're nice, which was hard enough to believe then you all but push me away and didn't say another word. I'd like you to make up your mind. Are you disgusted with me or just playing around with me for payback of being a boy all the time I knew you? I'd like to know before I decide on how hard to hit you."

"I was nice because you were upset and confused. And I didn't say another word because you _left_ before I could talk to you." He gave her a look, crossing his arms as well. "And I'm not disgusted with you."

"Gee thanks. Nice to me because I was upset and confused. I could get that from Iruka, asshole. I don't want you to treat me differently while I'm a wreck then go back to being a bastard as soon as I seem to be all right. You locked yourself in your bathroom without a word. I wasn't going to wait around for you to decide on how you were going to act. You acting like that makes me uncomfortable."

"Look, I..." He struggled. Flustered, he refused to meet her gaze. "I liked you. And just when I was getting comfortable with it, it changed. And then I was just... I don't know." He looked at her then, face reddening. "And I didn't want to ruin it any further by doing something that would have made you even more uncomfortable."

She looked at him blankly. "Maybe if you had _asked_, I would have _told_ you how I felt. Don't assume things about me because in reality, Sasuke, you don't know much about me. There are things I will not tell you. But there are things that if you just ask, you'll find out. I really like you. I have since I was old enough to understand little things like crushes. I never acted on it. I'm not some stupid girl who cares more for being pretty. I'm a ninja. I wanted to be one. I wanted to prove that I could be someone. I played pranks for attention because without it, I would go insane. Even if it was irritation it was enough to get me through the day. The reason I was dead last in the class was because I couldn't perform jutsus when all my concentration and chakra control was pushed toward that one genjutsu. Iruka knew that but he couldn't treat me different. And finally? I suck at book smarts. So there you have it: The summary of the life of Uzumaki Naruto, sans the really gruesome parts; a little schoolgirl wannabe ninja with a crush on the number one rookie and the grades of an idiot."

With that, she dusted her hands on her hips. "And on a final note, 'liked?' Past tense? It doesn't take much for you to get over your crushes." She frowned before turning and walking off, shoving her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants. Her head hung low in thought as she stared at the road.

"Because I don't anymore... It's...different." Sasuke stammered, all but running after her. "Because it's...it's not some nameless thing...or a crush." He had her by her upper arm now, matching her feet pace for pace. "It's..." He stopped, forcing her to stop and looked down at her.

"Will you go out with me?" He found himself saying, his voice a little higher than intended and his mind not exactly processing how out of character he was being.

Naruto actually tripped, catching herself before landing face-first in the dirt. There was an echo across Konoha that sounded roughly like this:

"**_WHAT!"_**

She stared at him with the widest eyes she could given her current appearance before frowning, face darkening. "Your sense of humor sucks, Sasuke. Badly."

"It's _not _a joke!" He frowned, brow furrowing.

Naruto stared at him mutely, her face frozen in what one could describe as complete and utter disbelief. Her genjutsu dropped completely as her pants sunk low on her hips and her hair fell some. "I..." she bit her lip, contemplating. "It won't be good for your reputation. And I'm not just talking about your fan-club."

"Since when have I cared what people think?" He scoffed, tugging her pants up some for her. He played with the drawstring, tightening the waistband for her. "Besides... you like me."

He crinkled his nose a little. "Dead last with a crush on the number one rookie."

Her face reddened from both his actions and words. "Sh-shut up!" She squeaked, pushing him away, flushed. "I'll ruin _my_ reputation if I go out with you!" She tried, sputtering some.

"Dobe, _what_ reputation?" He drawled. Teasing. Uchiha Sasuke was _teasing_. He leaned his sore neck to look at her, craning slightly. "Number one rookie with a crush on dead last."

She wrung her hands together like a certain Hyuuga, looking down at her feet, cheeks aflame. "OK." It was barely a whisper for she was too embarrassed to look up at him. It was so un-Naruto-like that one would have done a double-take.

"Okay then." He hummed, acting as if it was as simple as that, and maybe… maybe it was that simple. He took hold of one of her hands, hesitantly grasping it loosely. "Now let's get something to eat. I'm sure you're starving right?" He asked, trying to look as normal and unfazed as possible.

The concept of holding hands was foreign to her. It felt strange, but not… unpleasant. She inwardly smirked when she realized her hands were just as calloused as Sasuke's. Few girls could say that. Upon his inquiry she looked to the side, biting her cheek. "Maybe."

She found herself shifting their hands until her fingers wove within his, locking their hands together. "Ramen?" She inquired hopefully, though she'd eat wherever he took them.

"If you want." He chuckled. "Or we could go shopping. I bet you're out of food at home after a week's sit out."

She blushed a bit. "Yeah...but I didn't bring my wallet with me. Kakashi dragged me outta the house before I had a chance to properly dress."

She didn't bother putting her genjutsu up. Besides, with Sasuke she felt safe. Though she was just as strong as he was, she added smugly.

"I'll get it." Sasuke shrugged. "How much could ramen cost?" He smirked at her, tugging her hand so that their arms twined about. She felt safe with him, and he felt… free.

* * *

Grocery shopping with Sasuke was a bit more entertaining than expected. He haggled better than a housewife. The butcher looked absolutely crosser than a polecat when he was tricked into giving up good beef for half price.

"Now, for that salmon and shrimp over there..." He pointed, barely showing his amusement to Naruto when the butcher hissed in frustration.

Naruto giggled the entire time, teasing Sasuke about his "housewife skills." "I don't need all of this you know. I mostly eat ramen."

"I'm getting my groceries too. Unlike you I don't live on just ramen."

"It's full price or nothing!" The butcher demanded.

"You must be joking. I can smell it all the way on the other side here. It's going bad in that tank you've got it in!" Sasuke's voice rose a bit, passersby noticing. Being an Uchiha could be good for business, or bad. Sometimes his reputation came in handy.

The butcher slammed a pound of each product on the counter for 30 percent discount and stalked off to the back, as Sasuke put the packages in their basket.

"Heh. Score." He muttered.

"Hey, ramen is good, teme!" Naruto whined, stepping behind Sasuke as inconspicuously as possible when people looked at them.

"I never said it wasn't. It's just not good to eat nothing BUT that." He took her hand again, his other holding the slowly filling basket. "You need to try other things." He got vegetables, and added them to the basket, before they went to the ramen isle. He picked out Naruto's favorite ones easily, without question.

He may not have known everything, but he knew important parts.

"Hmm… what for dessert?" He pondered.

Naruto bounced a bit at him knowing her favorite types of ramen but stopped when he said dessert. "You don't like sweets, baaaaka." She tugged his hand a little, grinning up at him with that vulpine grin of hers. "Maybe we should get a chocolate cake and make you eat it all!"

"I don't like overly sweet stuff." He made a face. "Fruits are good though." He wandered the bakery, before stopping on a fruit trifle. It went in the basket as well. He paused, before hitting the checkout, snatching a bottle of chocolate syrup.

She watched incredulously as he grabbed the chocolate syrup. "But that's overly sweet!" She pointed out, confusion etched on her face.

"But you like it, right?" He countered, as they walked outside.

"Of course!" She replied, looking appalled. "Sweets are right up there under ramen!"

"Good. Then stop arguing." He handed her a bag to carry, before taking her hand. He liked doing that, he found. Unlike most people, touching Naruto wasn't bad at all.

She pouted some, grabbing the weight with ease, lacing her fingers through his again. It amused her that Sasuke was so willing to touch her, even if it was her hand. Though that kiss last week… Her cheeks flushed as she pushed the thoughts out of the way. "Now where to?"

"My place." He crinkled his nose. "It's clean."

"Hey! I cleaned mine last week! And the mold is… somewhat under control…" She retorted, pouting.

"And my kitchen's a little better too." He was teasing her again.

Naruto remembered the kiss at his place again, cheeks flushing pink before finishing her argument with, "Yeah? Well... ...argh!"

"Besides, it's quieter there. The complex is better and has thicker walls." He paused at a crosswalk, their shoulders touching.

She rolled her eyes, giving up.

* * *

The walk back was quiet. So quiet that it was like they were asleep in a dream.

It was somewhat disappointing when he opened the door to his apartment, having to unlink their hands. His warmth grew cold in her palm.

"Just put the stuff up. It's self explanatory." He shrugged off a bag of groceries, and handed it to her.

"I'll be right back." He said as they went in. As he headed for the bathroom, he smirked. "I'm just taking a leak. Don't run off this time."

She nodded, taking the groceries and walking into his kitchen. She peeked through the cabinets, deciding what stuff went where. As she opened the fridge she stuck her tongue out at him. "I doubt that's what you were doing last time. Probably trying to drown yourself."

"Actually I wasn't." He said as he stepped into the bathroom. "I was beating the dog."

And then the door shut.

_End Part Three._

* * *

**AN:** (SNORT) Yeah, I had to think of where to truncate this chapter. I decided this was the best point before it got excessively long. So, I estimated wrong… there will be another part! Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is up to you. Blargh… I didn't realize how long this thing was—when I was estimating how long it was going to be at the beginning of the fic I had forgotten to include the entire shopping scene. Ah, well.

Hope you enjoyed. Next up will DEFIINTELY be the last part. And will be the reason the fic is rated M. (coughs)

Kay, it's 2:30 AM. Going to sleep now.

**Reviews and comments appreciated.**

_Phoe-chan and Sekushi Shigure._


	4. Part 4

**AN:** Yay, final piece is up. Full author's note at the end.

**Warning: M-rated chapter. Smut-like smuttings abound. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim.

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**Puberty Sucks**

_Part Four of Four (I swear)_

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Naruto froze, nearly dropping the shrimp as she stared at the refrigerator door. Her face slowly turned bright red, knowing very well that was the truth as she hurriedly finished putting away the meats.

When Sasuke came back he'd not only used the toilet but he'd also changed. Who knew he owned things other than those same wide-collar Uchiha clothes? Jeans and a black shirt were his new duds, his sandals left in a neat row by his others in the closet. Bare feet hardly made a sound on the linoleum as he padded over to Naruto, who had finished putting up the fruits and vegetables, cheeks still a fresh pink. Her sweatpants rode low on her hips and her black shirt gave a slight hint at the tan skin around her stomach as she reached up to put something on the top shelf. Turning, she peered at him as her lips curved into a smirk. "Wow, I don't see a fan. That's a new one," She teased.

"It's on my boxers," he lied. Actually, he had plain silk on, but she wouldn't know that.

Naruto arched a brow but left it at that. What she wouldn't give to have that Byakugan ability. "So now what? I put everything up."

"Now?" Sasuke echoed, sounding vaguely like a certain perverted jounin. "I dunno."

"Wow. So much for you being a genius," Naruto deadpanned, throwing her hands up in the air and walking over to Sasuke's bed, flopping down on it. "Mmm, smells like Sasuke," She muttered, face buried in the pillow.

"Really?" Sasuke inquired as he followed behind her, sitting on the edge of the bed and running a finger up Naruto's back.

Naruto turned her head to the side, shuddering in response to his teasing touch. "Yeah…" She breathed out, eyes fluttering closed.

"I think I know what we can do," Sasuke began. His voice was soft next to her ear. "We can get that trifle out…" He was running his fingers over the indentation of her ribs now, through the fabric of her shirt. "…Then get the chocolate syrup…" Flesh met flesh, and his hands felt so _good._ Calluses worked at tender spots, pressuring the kinked muscles to relax. "And dump it all over…" His slid his hot hands up her rib cage to cup at the area just above her breasts, squeezing the dove-soft muscle there. "…The trifle." He finished as he pulled his hands away, getting off the bed.

Naruto was left with a flushed face and panting softly. How the hell he was so good with his hands when he'd never dated before? Unable to reply to his comment coherently, she muttered a 'sure' under her breath as she tried to regain some of her senses after being so sensually touched. And by _him_ just made it all the better.

If she'd bothered to look, the 'how' was located on his bookshelves. Though ninja arts dominated most of it, the last shelf at the very bottom contained some interesting titles. 'Kama sutra', sensual massage, aromatherapy, _…medicinal love herb recipes_? Was this Sasuke's house or was Naruto in another dimension?

Sasuke was making their dessert, licking the serving spoon as he finished. He glanced at Naruto, eyes smoky without even meaning to be. "Hungry?"

Naruto licked her lips that had gone dry and nodded numbly, not trusting herself to speak. She just stared at him, taking in his appearance greedily. She was half-tempted to dump the rest of the syrup on _him._

Sasuke picked up the syrup bottle, putting the tip in his mouth. She could see a pink flicker against the brown plastic as he bit it lightly, watching her beneath low bangs. The bottle came open with a pop, the scent of chocolate faintly licking at her nose. Syrup drizzled from the opened top over her portion.

Naruto finally had to tear her eyes away, focusing on the wall in front of her, forcing herself to control her breathing. He was doing this purposely and she wasn't going to let him win. She may have agreed to go out with him but like hell if her rivalry with him had ended.

"—to? Naruto?" He blinked at the girl, as he handed her a bowl and a spoon. "Earth to the dobe." He stated flatly.

She jumped, flushing as she took the bowl and spoon from him, muttering an apology before her brain caught up with her. "Hey! Don't call me that, teme!" She shouted, shaking her spoon at him.

"Sure thing, _Usuratonkachi_," Sasuke replied, smirking.

"Argh!" She shouted in frustration, shoving a spoonful of her dessert into her mouth to keep from retorting with insults. She'd get him back later.

"Heh." Sasuke ate his own dessert, leaning casually back against the counter. When they were done, he seemed a bit reluctant to put the bottle of syrup in the fridge.

Naruto watched him with interest, noticing the hesitation in his movements. She didn't call him on it, but merely put her bowl in the sink. She took a moment to lick her spoon clean before adding it in there as well.

"Well… was there anything you wanted to do?" He cleaned up his kitchen area, not looking at her.

'_Yeah, I can think of a few things…'_ But Naruto didn't voice said few things, just smiled and trotted back to the bed, bouncing on it and looked up at him. She glanced at herself at the small mirror on Sasuke's dresser and saw that chocolate stained her face and nose. She stuck out her tongue in an attempt to lick it off, going cross-eyed in the process and looking utterly adorable.

"Dobe, most people would use a napkin," Sasuke muttered as he rolled his eyes and dried off his hands. Sasuke walked up to her, his knees touching hers as his hand took her cheek, tilting it. "Or… they'd offer some to their host," He added, the only betrayal of his cool being the flutter of his eyes as he lowered them to look at her mouth.

Naruto stared up at him, cheeks stained red. "You don't ask, bastard. You take."

"So I can take what I want?" He was leaning closer, eyes closed now.

"Y-yeah…" She breathed, licking her lips, tasting the chocolate at the edge of her mouth.

Sasuke pulled away, falling onto his back on the bed. "All right," He announced as he folded his arms behind his head. "Then I want you to take your half of the grocery bill."

Naruto face-vaulted and fell off the bed onto the floor with a loud thud. The words 'I hate you' wafted up from the floor.

"I may be your boyfriend, but I'm still Sasuke." Was the reply.

"Hmph. Teme." Naruto mumbled, staying on the floor. "I'll just go home then." She rolled over onto her knees and stood up, dusting herself off. "I need to finish sewing my clothes so they'll fit now… unless you want me to stay in my henge so that people can still doubt your sexuality."

She rubbed her chin in thought, "Besides, I think Neji was giving me some curious looks…"

"Probably amazed he didn't see before," Sasuke teased her, looking at her. "The guy doesn't like girls. He can't."

"That's saying a lot coming from you," Naruto muttered. "After all, you had a crush on me and you thought I was a guy! How do I know you aren't gay? Or bi?"

"I don't like girls," He replied instantly. "I mean… girly ones. I like people who can keep up with me, exclusively. To be honest, I don't think I thought about sexuality, but well, you just…" Sasuke trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words before giving Naruto a half-glare. "Dobe, why are you arguing with me anyway? Who am I sitting with right now?"

Naruto looked at him from across the room. "…Yourself, stupid." She replied, folding her arms across her chest. "What are you implying? That you're full of yourself? Teme, we've known that since day one."

"No, that I wasn't sure what you were, just that I liked you," He blustered.

She smiled, bounding over to him and pounced, sitting on him. "Well, I like you, too! Even if you're arrogant and a bastard who calls me 'dobe' and enjoys insulting me…" She leaned over him a bit, her voice trailing off.

Tousled hair and widened dark eyes made a very nice picture on the pristine, white sheets. After a moment, he shook his head, chuckling softly. "I just like getting a rise out of you. It's so easy to do." His hands settled on her thighs, lightly spreading his fingers to stroke her legs. "Well, maybe not anymore. You don't have the right equipment for 'rising' do you?" His voice fell a notch, husky.

She flushed a bit before retorting hotly. "Yeah? Well you still can. Evidence of that last week." She stared at him, not breaking eye contact, a delicious shudder running down her back at the sound of his voice. "And I enjoy getting a rise out of you. Any way I can…"

And rise he did. In fact, he was a standing ovation. This time there was no restraint of control as he pressed against her, enjoying the contact without guilt or remorse. "Any… way?" He asked, fingers making gentle dents on her thighs.

Her eyes fluttered closed in response, long lashes brushing against whiskered cheeks. "Yeah… bastard…"

He arched against her, hips jutting off the bed. His lower lip was tucked tightly between his teeth, tormented. The sound he made was enough that any girl would have given their left arm to witness.

She gasped, mouth opening as she found herself turned on in a matter of seconds. She was growing wet from the sound he made as her hands grabbed his legs as he pushed against her, his arousal pressing against her making her face flush with heat and want.

He flipped her, hands still holding her thighs. No time was wasted as he settled between her legs and abused her through her clothes, grinding his hips against hers. His cheek burned hers as it brushed past, tongue tasting her ear. When he stopped, they were both damp with sweat and… he was going to ruin his pants, he realized, if he didn't take them off. They flew to the headboard, getting caught on the post accidentally.

He glanced back to Naruto t see her eyes were shut closed, breath labored and a sheen coat of sweat glistening her skin. Her hands were gripping his shoulders and he had no doubt that the pleasurable torture between her legs was near unbearable.

The sound of his pants coming off doubled the intension.

And the sound of her voice as she gave a soft sigh was enough to make Sasuke want to ravish her for the rest of the day.

He sucked in a breath as he pulled her pants off trying his best not to look. If he did, it'd be over before it even began and—he swallowed dryly at the expression on her face and took his chances further south, focusing on her chest. "You sure about this?"

"You dare to ask me after we're half-undressed?" She panted, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes filled with a smoky blue.

He smirked, "Just making sure you wouldn't chicken out like the girl you are."

Naruto scowled, hitting him upside the head. "You want me to _leave?_ I've waited this long and it won't hurt to wait longer! I'll walk out that damn door!"

He chuckled again, collapsing atop her and kissing her. Nothing between them stood as she felt him hard and strong against her belly and he felt her hot and damp against his thigh. Neither could be embarrassed now.

Naruto leaned up and nipped at Sasuke's neck, lips teasing the skin afterwards. The supple curve of her breasts pressed against his chest through their shirts. Her hands snuck under his shirt, trailing up his back and then back down, short nails barely raking across the skin. Sasuke mimicked her motions, lifting his torso long enough to push her shirt up to her arms as he sat back and pulled off his own shirt. He dropped it onto the floor, settling on her hips. After a moment, he blinked and smirked. "Sorry," He all but purred. "Was getting lost in the idea of sparring and tearing your clothes off one-by-one."

She narrowed her eyes in response, although they were more focused on the expanse of his chest. Sure she'd seen him nude before. Several times, even. But this time… it was better. Because… this time, he was on top of her and he had the most predatory look in his eyes. She sat up a bit and reached up to completely remove her shirt.

"…Tomorrow," Sasuke muttered quickly, unable to move his eyes away from where her breasts bounced free of her shirt. "…Tomorrow we'll spar." He announced.

Then he was on her, hands catching hers as he kissed her.

Her reply was muffled as their lips met in a heated kiss, her hands caught, fingers weaving through his as she pushed back lightly as a challenge. Always a rivalry between them, even in bed. The cool air of the room made her nipples pucker as she gave a soft sound of pleasure that was accompanied by her tongue demanding entrance to his mouth.

He let her in, but it was not a sign of submission. It was only opening a floodgate of heated battle, seeing who could taste as much of the other as possible. Naruto's tongue was rapid and eager, but it was soon vanquished as he sucked at it a little then twirling his own around it in gentle circles. Slow and languid was the key to a good kiss; hot and fast was for fucking.

But she'd know that soon enough.

He nudged apart her legs before reaching down to spread them fully when she kept squeezing them around his waist. The kiss was broken and he could've kissed her again she looked so disappointed.

"I've got to get you ready," He opted to kiss her forehead, unable to help as he pushed against her with his knee.

Naruto's complaint died, a soft gasp replacing it as she arched against his leg, strong muscles in her legs trembling. She didn't understand what more he had to prepare her for. She was about as turned on as she could get, or so she thought. "Nnn… Sasuke-bastard…" She bit her bottom lip to keep from saying anything else.

Getting her ready, as it were, was better than kissing. His hand was cool as it moved down her leg, unstopping till it reached the area pressed against his knee. He moved so that his waist cleared her lap, hand cupping against her. As a finger slid through the folds, stroking back and forth, he kissed her ear and murmured, "Go ahead and shout."

"Nnn!" She refused to give in, rocking her hips against his hand. "That's what you want me to do, teme," She whimpered, fingers gripping the bed sheets tightly.

He slowly began to focus the strokes, creeping upwards till he was rolling a tiny bud with his thumb and forefinger. His face began to flush as her hips followed his movements, circling in shaking undulation. His face dropped to her shoulder, kissing gently. He didn't dare let her see the hungry, wolfish expression that was most certainly eating at his visage.

Whimpers and soft muffled gasps were all he managed from her with his ministrations. It somewhat gouged at him, but he refused to give up. Without relenting his thumb's task, his fingers slicked down to the core of her, pushing two in with a gentle nudge. Her readiness made the task easy, so much so that her muscles clenched and drew him in.

Before she could react, he moved his fingers, hooking them on withdraw, pulling the excitement from her nerves in a come hither.

She gave a started yelp, pushing against him insistently, not trusting herself to look at him. She bit down hard on her bottom lip, drawing blood as she whimpered in pleasure and torture. His fingers were coated in evidence of her want. "S-Sasuke…" She breathed out, eyes opening into slits, beads of perspiration gathering on her face.

She had almost succeeded in making Sasuke's self-control snap when the most dreadful sound imaginable made them both freeze.

The doorbell.

Or rather, the buzzer. That's what it sounded like: a nasty bumblebee that had decided to ask admittance. Sasuke's head lifted, giving the door a look enough to wither its paint.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura was on the other side.

Naruto's face was paler than Sasuke's white bed sheets as she sat up, her body pressed against Sasuke's. "Oh, God…" She whispered under her breath as she reached for her shirt. The room smelt of sex, sultry and heavy.

In response, he pushed her back down, gently. "Just ignore it," He whispered. "She'll think we aren't home."

She bit her lip and nodded, though she had a nagging doubt that was going to happen. She clung to him, extremely nervous. What if Sakura didn't buy it? Although she had never really crushed on Sakura, she didn't want to ruin her friendship.

He waited several heartbeats before he heard Sakura leaving the stoop and go down the long corridor. He sighed in relief, burying his face in her neck.

"We'll talk to her tomorrow," He muttered.

Naruto nodded, though the heat had died down some as she clung to him. "M-maybe we should wait… it is rather… soon. We've been dating all of how long?" She gave a weak smile. She was scared. Again.

"A day?" He sounded shaky himself, all but lax against her. He was still painfully hard, cheeks ruddy. _'But I've been chasing you for ever'_, he wanted to say. Instead he took her hand, nuzzling at her ear. "I guess I should go get cleaned up."

Naruto hesitated for a moment before her hand slid down his chest and stomach, fingers reaching out to tease his erection. "Well… sex can wait. Foreplay… well, you know. You've got a whole shelf of books. Why, I don't know…" Her small hand closed around him as she gave him a squeeze.

He jerked, head smashing to the wall against the one side of the bed, wincing. He groaned half from pleasure and half from pain as he arched to her hand, clutching at his bruise.

"Those aren't mine…" He blushed. But he'd read them.

"Oh?" She inquired, whiskered on her cheeks stretching with her vulpine grin. "And whose are they?" Her thumb rubbed the tip as she pulled him away from the wall, closer to her.

His eyes closed as he flushed, lips brushing hers as he spoke, "Kakashi's…"

"You borrowed them, didn't you?" She purred, stroking him a few times, cool fingers quickly turning warm from him as she drew one leg up, wrapping it around his thighs as he lay beside her, his chest brushing hers, lips teasing each other in soft, feathery caresses. Her foot slid down the side of his leg, toes teasing. Flexibility that came with being a ninja was such a lovely asset. Her other arm was pillowing her head, making her at eye-level with him for his head rested on the pillow.

"B-Bastard just shoved them on me…" He was beginning to react, lips parting. Panting, his hips sought her hand as he grasped her waist to steady himself. "And I figured why waste good kindling…?"

She chuckled, blue eyes sparkling with mirth. "I may have to read them myself… just so I can make you writhe beneath me, teme…" She nibbled at his earlobe, pumping him in rhythm, delighted when he bucked in her hand. Her foot trailed back up his calf, the soft light of the afternoon sun in the window reflecting off the small curves of her body. She had a natural tan, Sasuke vaguely noted. Completely natural. Blonde bangs tickled his cheek as she tugged his ear with her teeth, blowing hot air on his neck.

"Oh?" He brought his hand down, pressing her button in rhythm to her touches. "Let's see who writhes first…" He challenged, sliding his opposite leg under hers. He attacked her gently, kneading the pink flesh near the top of her mound, eyes trailing downward to watch. When he saw his fingers glistening, he slid two inside her once more.

"Ahhh…" She purred, pushing her hips against his hand. "Even if I go first, Sasuke… I have almost _unlimited_ stamina…" She drew her thumb up, digging slightly into the slit as she nibbled down his neck, sucking and pressing opened-mouth kisses.

But she didn't go first. He did.

He mewled desperately, the sound refusing to be held back. Apparently roughness was what he liked. _A lot_.

He came back to himself, sweaty and flushed, pressed as close as was possible against her slick, tan body. He knew he should have been irritated, losing like he did, but he couldn't find the strength to be, resting his cheek on her arm. His hand slowly fell from between her legs as his breathing deepened.

That bastard.

He fell asleep!

She tried to hold back her laughter. Let him sleep. She'd _so_ get him come time for him to wake. She glanced at the clock. 4 PM. Taking her shirt, she wiped them both off before tossing it to the floor. They could clean later. Snuggling up close to him, she pulled him as close as she could, one arm around his waist. Their legs tangled together as she pulled up one of the sheets that had nearly been kicked off the bed during their rough play over their bodies, letting it pool at their waists. Nodding to herself in Uzumaki fashion, she nuzzled his cheek and closed her eyes. Sleep sounded good. She hadn't had a decent night's sleep since she was, well, no longer a boy.

And that was that.

_End._

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**Translations:**

_Dobe:_ Dead Last

_Teme: _'you' (in a very rude fashion); bastard.

_Usuratonkachi:_ There is no good translation for this. It's just an insult/name.

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**AN:** OK, explanation time. The co-author of this fic, Sekushi Shigure and I had a fall-out. We don't talk to each other anymore and well, yeah. I neglected this fic and _Playing Hero_ because of it. But, this fic needed to be finished. I don't like how it turned out. The grammar is poor; the flow is poor because Shigure's style and my style clash. Badly. And I didn't want to spend hours upon hours rewriting it to make it work. I edited parts but not the entire thing. Sasuke is not how I would have written him to be at all, but he was Shigure's responsibility to write/RP so I left him as he was. Finally, it's a rushed story, both in the chain of events and the time it took to write it all. I know all this, there's no point in pointing it out because it's over and done with. **I will not be continuing this story.** I've lost most any interest in SasuNaruSasu and if I do anything with Naruko again, it'll be another pairing I have in mind.

With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this half-assed, inconsistent story and thank you all for your reviews.

Also, I'm still on hiatus but will do my best to continue writing when I can.

_Phoe-chan_


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